Summer TV Preview Countdown #4

Let the countdown of Summertime TV continue!

4) Project Runway (Season 6)

Heidi and Tim weren't sure if you were aware that
they've moved their whoring over to Lifetime TV.
Now you don't have to feel bad when the contestants
design something so bad, it makes you cry.

So here's the thing. I've been an avid PR watcher since season 1 aired while I was in college. The girls in my dorm would gather in someone's room and eat popcorn and critique like mad for an hour and the whole experience was very cathartic. There's something splendid about just being mean about someone else's creative output. This is obviously an emotion that Bravo knows only too well, since they made sure to have an extensive line-up of shows based solely on this premise (Blow Out, Top Chef, Flipping Out, Tabatha's Salon Takeover, etc.). When they sold it to Lifetime TV, I thought they were nuts. But it turned out they were in talks to start up The Fashion Show (and we can see how well that turned out).

In any case, Project Runway will be starting up on August 20th this summer, and despite the change of venue, I remain as faithful as always. I only hope it contains less bitchery than The Fashion Show contains; shouldn't be too difficult.

Summer TV Preview Countdown #5

Alright folks, now that I'm moved back to New Jersey and have most of my stuff in order (and I'm unemployed), the unofficial GG hiatus is over! And we're starting the summer off with a bang to talk about some of the upcoming TV shows (and a few that are already in full-swing) that I'm looking forward to watching. Let the dizzying array of TV-brain-meltiness begin!

5) The Fashion Show

Boy Isaac, for someone who always complains
that the contestants don't use enough color,
you sure do wear a lot of black!

While Project Runway was being shuffled over to Lifetime Network, Bravo was scrambling to recoup their losses. "Let's make a copy of it," they likely said to themselves. "We'll set it in the same city, with the same number of contestants, the same number of judges. But we will change the shape of the runway. We won't give the designers a mentor. And we will make sure that when we critique a design, we will do it in the bitchiest and most inane way possible."

And while the producers were likely squealing with joy at their own "good" ideas, they probably also jumped up and down and hugged. That's my theory.

The Fashion Show is trying. It's trying soooo hard to be the new Project Runway, but despite my initial excitement over this show, it's fallen flat. The guest judges sometimes have no insight into fashion at all, a lot of the designers have NO sewing skills of which to speak, and the challenges are frequently pointless or of little consequence. Not to mention, giving someone immunity for designing a high schooler's t-shirt strikes me as the height of the inane. Bravo isn't even manufacturing drama for the sake of drama here.

Unfortunately, I really like design shows, so although I'm not happy with it, I'll probably continue watching it.

Stay tuned for the rest of the countdown!

Obsession Confession: Project Runway

I admit, when it comes to TV shows, I'm not easily hooked. I will often start watching a show at the beginning of a season thinking 'this is great!' and then easily slip away from it and retain not even the barest hint of interest. However, from the moment I first heard of Project Runway, I was stolen away into a world of 24-hour couture dresses, and bizarre personalities.

After tonight's episode with the winner being the self-aggrandizing, self-referential Suede, and poor Kenley sadly taking 2nd place, I got myself ready for bed and was wafted off into a crazy dream-world. Although I've agreed that many of the past challenges have been interesting or fun (except for season 4. WTF, Bravo?), I think Bravo, (soon Lifetime) needs to make bank on my newest idea. Basic scripting concept:

The designers are gathered on the edge of the runway, silently awaiting word from Heidi about the next challenge. Heidi appears on the runway in yet another scant cocktail dress that makes her breasts look fabulous. Also, her legs. Sighs are heard from the female designers. And also from the male designers who wish they had her legs.

Heidi welcomes the designers to the Runway and inquires teasingly if they are ready for their next challenge. There's some muttering in response, a couple of roaring 'Yes!' s and a few designers who merely jump up and down. Heidi continues with her spiel.

"Alright designers, now that we're on the third challenge in and you've gotten to know the models, we're getting rid of them. We're so much more lenient this time than last season, when we got rid of your models for the second episode. Better, ja? Anyway, you're due for an interesting time ahead, would you like to meet your models?"

The designers give a half-hearted agreement. The lights on the runway turn on and a series of teenage girls of various sizes saunter into the room. There seem to be a lot of glasses and frizzy hair going on. This could be a horrible reenactment of Season 4's prom challenge. They're partway right.

Heidi announces, "Designers, these are to be your models for this challenge. We found these interesting characters at the Javitz Center across the city. Each of these girls was found at a various convention and is a Cosplayer; a person who dresses up as other characters from popular media. They all have a favorite genre or interest and it will be your job to dress them for their senior proms according to their themes! Doesn't that sound like fun?"

The designers groan. Cut to solo interview of generic bad-ass designer. "I hope one of them likes leather. I don't work with anything other than leather."

Cut to solo interview of sweet, naive designer, "I'm really confused."

Cut to solo interview of brash, egotistical designer, "Oh man, I already know what I'm going to do. There's going to be this huge collar, like Fwoosh! and the color is going to be a-maze-ing. There's no way I'm going to lose this one."

Heidi speaks again (in case you forgot she was there), "So now the girls are going to tell you their styles. Let's start at that end, shall we? Connie?"

Connie is a short, slightly chubby Asian girl with chin length hair. "I love Aliens. Not cute ones. Scary ones."

Cut to designer who lives in fear, "oh my god. We're doomed."

The next girl steps forward, "I'm Marie. I'm a furry. Rawr." Marie claws the air with one hand full of pointed nails.

Girl #3 waves, "I'm Lilliane. I'm all about steampunk."

Cut to interview with sweet, naive designer #2, "I've never heard of any of these things. I'm so confused!"

Heidi motions to the fourth girl on the runway. She's tiny. "I'm Alexis and I am into Gothic Lolita." She curtsies. Some of the designers look as if they're about to throw up.

The fifth girl is tall and black with gorgeous skin. "I'm Danni. I love going to Ren Faires. I guess you could say my style is very medieval."

Cut to interview with sweet, naive designer #3, "Oh gosh, I want Danni for real. I mean, not only do I actually know what her genre is, but it's so easy to imagine a Renaissance style dress for a prom. I could totally do that!"

The sixth person on the runway has long hair but it's suddenly apparent due to his voice that he is, in fact, male. "Will. I cross-dress/dress in drag. The real challenge here is to incorporate my favorite film, Rocky Horror Picture Show."

Cut to flamboyantly gay designer, "Oh dear god. Where the heck do they find these people? I mean, Rocky Horror was like, this amazing movie, but you want a prom dress out of that??? Are you freakin' kidding me?"

Model #7 steps forward. "My name is Geena, and I always dress as a magical girl. My dress has gotta have a transformation sequence." The designers look aghast. Some roll their eyes.

The eighth model is muscular and athletic. She could probably soundly beat the designers into submission. "I'm Wendy. I'm into superheroes and comic books. If it's out there in ink, I've probably read at least one issue of it."

The last girl has long bangs that fall into her eyes and block half her face. She smiles eerily. She rocks back and forth from her heels to the balls of her feet. "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn..."

The designers look at each other in total confusion. Heidi looks proud of herself. "So now you all have to choose the model you'll work with. Afterwards, you'll have 30 minutes to talk to your model and then you'll all have a budget of $150 dollars with which to buy fabrics and other assorted items at Mood. However, we also have a fun new game. Here's the button bag. It's full of buttons! Oh, and the buttons have your names on them. Now, we're going to pick a button, and the person whose button comes out first gets to not only pick their model first, but they also only get to have $75. Woohoo! Messing with your brains is fun! Let's go!"

So here's the question, readers. If you were a designer on Project Runway, and you were faced with those choices, which would you choose, and what would you do with it? I've already had a lot of ideas about all of them and I think this would be an intriguing challenge (though I wouldn't appreciate getting half-budget. That would suck. But I think Heidi really would be that mean if meant higher ratings). So what would you do?